Ask Doctor Best

That learned scholar, Doctor Henry Best, is available to answer your personal questions on matters grave or frivolous, through consultation of portents in the heavens. Please remember that, although he is educated in astrology and a myriad other areas of natural philosophy, holding a PhD from the University of Atlantia, Doctor Best is not a licensed psychotherapist.

Dear Doctor Best,
I’m about to fight in Crown and I’m unsure who to ask to be my consort. I am including birth data for both my wife and mistress.
Thanks,
Hot Stick

Dear Stick,
Young man, I would be remiss if I failed to say I see turmoil and strife in your future. As you are a Leo with Venus in Scorpio, I know my words will be wasted on you, but regrets of my own misspent youth professional ethics move me to make the attempt regardless.
These charts show your wife would make the better queen but your mistress is prone to greater violence. You could eschew astrology and decide with your dowsing rod. You could introduce the two of them and ask their opinion. I will sell tickets, donating your half towards your medical bills.
Never fear, once the excitement of this upcoming crown draws to an end, you will be able to approach your next tournament with a clean slate.

Good Luck,
Doctor Best

Dear Doctor Best,
Who is going to win the war?
Signed,
Call Me Legion

Dear Legion,
You’d be amazed how many people have asked me this one. I’ve collected a great deal of data on this. It’s a complex problem, involving birthdates of the East and Middle kings, coronations, and of course the final piece of the puzzle, the cannon sounding the “birth” of the war itself. I was fairly confident I was equal to the task, until I saw the points rules for this year. That’s more complicated than astrology!
Nonetheless, I have my prediction in a sealed envelope, in the secure custody of the Pennsic Independent office. It would, of course, be unethical of me to publish the final results of the war ahead of time, as it would spoil the fun for everyone.

Do you have a question? Bring it to Dr Best’s office at Sun Baked Studio, on Battle Road. Whenever possible, include birth date, time, and place for all parties involved. Your identity will be held in strictest confidence. “Ask me any question, and I’ll give you any answer!”