Venerating Obscure Saints at Pennsic

Dame TSivia bas Tamara v’Amberview
Features Reporter – Pennsic Independent

Sunday near the barn, passers-by were treated to a scene of revelers celebrating two most obscure saints, courtesy Baron Foote and Baroness Grainne of Feat of Clay potters. According to Baron Foote, the Saints Marg and Rita were apparently totally unknown until someone found an obscure reference to them in the Winchester Chronicles. The good Baron reports that there was a mini-heat wave in the south of what is now England somewhere around 95,000 B.C., and early Christian nuns who came from the south of France to the shores around Land’s End brought with them crops including both grapes and cacti (which were only viable due to said heat wave).
Foote reports that no one appears sure why the cacti were raised, but the chronicles indicate a great storm swept across the south coast, which ruined the crop with horrific tidal waves. Folklore indicates that two identical twin sisters who were from that nunnery, Marg and Rita, died trying to defend the cacti plantation, and were never seen again.
It was at that time that the miracle of Saints Marg and Rita occurred, for after the storm had buffeted the crop to a pulp, the nuns discovered a green liquid in low-lying areas with salt encrusted from the ocean’s attack. The liquid was found to be fine and delectable, and the salt merely improved its savor. And so the sacred liquor from this miraculous disaster became the sacrament ingested by true believers to honor the memory of holy twins Marg ‘n Rita.
Foote and Grainne have held the festival of Saints Marg ‘n Rita for nine years now, with “stagger posts” supplied by Rod, Pole and Perch, the Royal Surveyors. With highly skilled devotees such as their wench squad (Spanner, Wrench, Adjustable, and Crescent), the festivities helped put a smile on the face of commoner and Royal alike. Many quaked in fear at their sacred “Dickie Bird”, a huge carved wood bird with a tongue that moves in and out. The Dickie Bird is apparently an Anglo-Saxon raven, whose tongue is meant to remove any excess salt on worshippers’ faces, should they have walked too close to the sea.
How did all this prayerful play start? Apparently Foote and Grainne were sitting one night looking at the lovely Pennsic sunset and thought it would be a perfect time and place for a Margarita. Before long their “Anglo-Saxon patio” had become the venue for prayerful worship at Pennsics.
Long may the miracle of Saints Marg and Rita continue to grace the Anglo-Saxon patio!